“Did you hear ‘em? Sounded like he’s right down on the river to me; I knew we should have started on the river. When we hunted ‘em up on the Clear Fork of the Brazos we almost always started at the river and then moved up into the hills. Now by the time we get there, it’ll be too late.” Spoke the “speaking bush”.
“Ahhh, not to worry. Let’s let him go have his fun before we go after him. We’ve got all morning. Besides if we don’t get that one there’s a pretty good chance we’ll find another one any way. Ya’ll might have a lot of ‘em where you come from, but we got a few in this part of the country as well.” Said the one who wore a pair of green jeans topped with a greenish looking shirt. “Don’t he sound purty! Bet he’s all puffed up, looking twice as big as he really is.”
The speaking bush was getting restless, shuffling his feet, getting pretty antsy.
“Been wearing that funny looking suit long? Looks like it’s a pretty good way to carry home a lot of burrs and thorns.”
“I’ll have you know that this is the finest in wild turkey hunting gear. I went to a bunch of different sporting goods stores before I finally found what I wanted.”
“You know Fred, you really do look like a lumpy bush, matter of fact. Did you by chance go by the Los Cazadores store like I suggested to get you a pair of snake boots.” Fred nodded an affirmative. “Now I know you’ve got a fair amount of snakes where you hail from. But down this part of South Texas, after three good years of rainfall, before it turned dry, we produced a whole lot of rats and mice which really helped increase the rattlesnake population. I saw a lot of snakes early last fall during the dove season, and even during the whitetail season. I’d dare to say we’ve got us a bumper crop of rattlers.” Suddenly Earl jumped to the side, “Whatwasthat?”
Fred jumped as well more in reaction to Earl’s sideward jump. But it got his attention.
“I coulda sworn I heard the faint sound of a rattlesnake crawling through the prickly pear we were standing next to…. Guess it coulda been my imagination, but I don’t think so.”
The time was that almost moment, almost light enough to see without a flashlight. Then just as Fred was about to turn on his flashlight to make certain it was only an imaginary snake, a Rio Grande gobbler sounded off merely a few yards away.
“Earl, gitdown!” loudly whispered Fred, “He’s right in our lap.”
“I think I heard that snake again,” responded Earl. “Sounded like he’s right behind you Fred, you might oughta watch where you squat. Cause if he bites you back there, like the old joke goes, Fred, you gonna die!”
Just then Earl heard Fred, “Oooooh! I think he got ….!” Even before Fred could complete his sentence he started jumping and hopping. Then he began to screech screaming high pitched sounds, the likes of which Earl and the turkeys in that part of Frio County had never heard. With each of Fred’s screeches the gobbler gobbled louder and louder. Talk about making a gobbler shock gobble!
Fred continued hopping, hollering, screeching, kicking. “Earl he’s got me. He’s wrapped around my legs. Git him off.. Ooohh! Help me! Turn on the light, help me!”
“Fred if I turn on the light it’s libel to scare off that gobbler that was really close.”
“I don’t care about no darn turkey, HELP ME! He just bit me again! Ohhhh!”
Earl dug through his hunting bag and found a flashlight. Turned it on, but the batteries were nearly spent. He shined it first all around where his feet were, then shined the light toward Fred who was still bouncing up and down screeching and screaming bloody murder.
“Fred, stand still! With all that loose material hanging down around your knees and legs I can’t see a thing! Calm down!”
“Oooouu it hurts!”
Finally Earl could see Fred’s knees. And nearly just as soon as he did he started laughing!
“It ain’t funny. Oooh he got me again!”
Earl was rolling on the ground laughing and I suspect for a heartbeat moment he considered shooting him where he lay laughing.
Then he noticed that when he stood still it didn’t seem like he was being attacked by a snake.
Earl howled with laughter. Finally when he could regain as least a small amount of composure he pointed out the 6 foot piece of green briar that was wrapped around Fred’s legs and knees all knotted up in his “Gilly suit”. But then began laughing again almost uncontrollably!
Once the briar had been removed Earl spoke again, “Fred, you might want to be concerned a bit about that “bush” you’re wearing. It’s probably going to grow on you, cause I think it might have gotten fertilized a bit there a few moments ago….”
|
|
|
